Advocating Paternal Custody
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Although the idea may be shocking to some, routine paternal custody in divorce would practically wipe out delinquency and eventually crime.  There is no better police force than millions of un-emasculated fathers.  Discipline is not normally a maternal quality.  Generally mothers are known to pamper children, while the father is the one person readily available who is physically, emotionally, and reasonably capable of maintaining order.

A poet once said “One father is a hundred schoolmasters.”  Because behavior patterns are formed in childhood, because authority and discipline are more vital to civilized development than most other conditions and more lacking in father-deprived families, because males naturally and more positively project these images and are generally less neurotic than females; therefore, in single-parent environments the paternal environment may be more important than the maternal.

Buttressing his ‘Drunk Driver’ argument, Professor Amneus made a compelling case for automatic father custody by citing our past more civilized society when such was the case.  Admittedly, his thesis presents new opportunity for abuse, but probably less than does present practice.  Evidently, he anticipated that men would rise to the challenge if this responsibility were thrust upon them.  Even if one could wave a magic wand and implement total father custody, it would take generations to undo the damage of past custodial practices.

A big advantage of paternal custody is that it motivates both parents against divorce.  Mothers don’t want to lose children, and fathers need a housekeeper.  According to Phyllis Chesler, “Divorce is especially rare among those tribes where custody is retained by fathers.”

Of course kids aren’t ‘nothing but money,’ however a father has to think of them that way in a divorce.  If he thinks emotionally, he will be even more likely to lose either custody or money or both, usually both.  Charlie Metz, God bless him, taught me that.

Sometimes one has to take matters into one’s own hands.  One method is “bicycle custody.”  Kids who are mature enough to know where they want to live, but ordered elsewhere by courts, can live where they darn well please despite the machinations of the entire legal system.  After all, what can they do with a kid who keeps jumping on his bicycle and pedaling off to Dad’s pad?  Damn little!  One caution – informing children of this right must be done very carefully, lest the court find out and charge the person doing so with “contempt” or some such crime.  Years ago when I was an active divorce counselor, Ramsey County Minnesota Family Court Referee Kubes became hysterical when a friend of mine brought his thirteen-and-one-half year old son to a temporary hearing to express his (ignored) preference for paternal custody.  Next day I picked the boy up in front of his mother’s house (He just “happened” to be out there hitchhiking) and delivered him to his father, where he remained into adulthood.  He’s now a well-adjusted man and good father.


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Last modified: October 12, 2013